And It Keeps Me Guessing
by Solar-Priestess
Summary: TyZula. In the aftermath of all that has happened to Ty lee, she begins life anew. The road is rough and unforgiving, but can she find healing and comfort a place she never expected? 11/18/12 UPDATE
1. Ivory Princess

"It's been a while, Zuko. Maybe you should go and talk to her."

"Me? You're more her friend than I am, Mai. I don't even understand her half the time."

"I don't do these kinds of things…you know that. She's been in there for days. Just…go ask her if she wants something to eat…or something. Talk to her."

"Mai, she came out an hour ago and grabbed a persimmon. I doubt she's hungry, leave her alone a while."

"So what? You're the fire lord, are you really intimidated by some girl?" There was a pause. "She doesn't even like persimmons…does she?"

"She doesn't intimidate me!"

"How long are you going to let her…decay like this? I know she isn't your best friend but…"

"Give it another day, Mai, she'll come around."

"Whatever…"

…

It was about time to leave my room, wasn't it? I could hear every word Mai and Zuko thought I was deaf to, I looked at the moon through my open blinds.

I rose slowly, my body was weak and tired; acrobats were all I had really been doing lately. It could take a lot out of a girl, I smiled at the progress I was making. Even with all that aside, I knew I still needed to go out and face my public of two. My knees cracked as I walked towards the door, it opened in silence.

I walked briskly down the hallway getting back into the habit of things. I kept my head down, however, trying not to look at the pictures that adorned the hallway. I wasn't ready to face the look of my problems…

The living room was lit brightly by candle and smelled of tea that was a mixture of honeydew and some kind of ginger. The sent warmed my spirit and I could feel a wave of pleasure wash over me as I gave into my sense of smell. It brought me back to many memories.

"Ty…hey. Finally decide to get out of bed?" It was the lovely sound of that deep monotone that anyone else might mistake for the sound of the reaper himself. I found her voice rather soothing actually.

"Good evening, Mai! What are you brewing? A honeysuckle of some kind? I love honeysuckle!" I smiled and took my place beside her on the throw pillow near the dark oak table.

Mai looked at me quizzically. "Are you alright Ty-lee? You've been…sloth-like lately."

"On the contrary, Mai, I've been finding new ways to bend and twist! Wanna check it out?"

"Not particularly, but if you feel that you must…Ty, I know you're upset. Maybe you should…" She sighed long and hard. "…talk about it?"

"Mai, I'm fine! You're acting silly, I've been working on my aura and such…I'm trying to maintain a healthy salmon pink!" I rose and walked over to the kettle, the steam rose in swirls.

"If you consider pink a healthy color…" Mai rolled her eyes at me. I laughed aloud at her, she was always such a moody girl.

"Well, it's better than your dull lifeless grey. However, I think I spy some purples and crimsons…is somebody happy with their new found love?" I teased a little, Mai was quite funny when she flushed red as she had right then.

"Shut it, Ty-lee."

I poured my tea to the brim of my cup and fetched a cup for Mai. Placing the cups on a tea tray I also placed biscuits and honey alongside the drinks. She seemed rather pleased that I saved the trouble of having to fetch her own tea herself. We drank in silence.

"Ty…I'm sorry." She broke the peace with a barely coherent mumble.

"Please, Mai, I'd rather not talk about it…"

"Ty-lee you need to face this. It's okay now. I mean…she's…gone. You understand? We can't help this just-"

"Mai, I'm alright. It's no biggie…"

"You're hurt. You need to come to accept the fact that Azula…well…" her voice trailed off and my mind went with it.

"…She's dead…" I finished her sentence for her. The words came out but meant nothing.

"They never actually proclaimed her dead, Ty-lee…" I could feel the sense of false hope she tried to light within me. So palpable, so warm.

"They found her clothes floating in the Great Ocean. They found her locks of hair washed up on shore…they found a bone…A collar bone. She had drown Mai, let's just move on…"

"We'll…it's her fault anyways…running off before her court hearing. Who would try to swim the great ocean anyways?" Mai sipped her tea, she found ways to avert my gaze.

I wanted to believe. I wanted to dream that she was okay. That Azula, as always, found a way and had a plan. That she boarded a passing ferry or made friends with a lion-turtle. Somewhere out there she was laughing and playing Pai sho with some craftsman in the Earth kingdom.

But it was all in vain. I kept my hopes up until enough fact was found to bring me down to a harsh reality. I finally accepted the situation for what it was. Azula knew she was going to die, but she wasn't going down without a fight. She ran, escaped her prison…got a guard close enough, Agni only knows how, and beat him into the bars until the wounds were fierce enough to kill him. She timed it right, at the fine point of dusk when the guards took shift and there was only a slight vulnerability in the prison because of the shift in workers. By the time other men got there she squeezed his head through the bars and stole his keys. The odd thing was, he didn't have the key to her cell on him…But Azula always made do…

So it was that simple. She made a last ditch effort to cross the Great Ocean to Agni knows where…she failed.

"I didn't even get to say good bye." It was a thought out loud. I never dealt with bad situations well, and this was the worst situation ever.

"Ty, how about we go to the beach tomorrow…or whatever." Was that genuine kindness? I felt bad turning down Mai on such a rare offer, but I wasn't ready to deal with all the news outside about her…

"Nah, I'm okay Mai, I think maybe I'll go do something on my own tomorrow. Maybe feed some turtle-ducks or visit the plaza…"

"Fine, I didn't really want to go anyways." She looked relieved at me and I smiled. Mai, rose from the table as I did and walked me back to my room when I told her I was heading in for the night. She stopped at my door.

"Ty-lee you're strong. I've always known this. Everything will be okay. You need to trust me." Her words were so soft and gentle, she was almost cooing to me.

I grinned. "Of course, Mai, I'm already over it!" I lied.

The door shut behind me silently, without a word I walked over to my vanity and opened a small teal booklet. The pages were soft and shone ivory in the dark room. Azula gave me this booklet for my tenth birthday, the age when I aspired to be an author. She paid more attention to me than I gave her credit for…I never used it. Instead I saved lovely blank canvas, the world of opportunity for something special.

I opened it and saw the first blank page; a mass of beauty and possibilities. My hands shaped words with the ink tablet nearby…

_Ivory princess,_

_Why have you turned?_

_From kindles of amity,_

_As conviction would burn._

_Ivory Princess,_

_Did you not hear?_

_The fables they tell,_

_Of your panic fled fear,_

_Ivory Princess,_

_I've more faith than holds true,_

_I still see your face in the water,_

_I'm still looking for you,_

_My Ivory princess,_

_Maybe one day,_

_As I trust in my lore _

_I dream maybe one day,_

_I could find you on shore._

I hadn't realized I was crying until my tears hit the paper. I sobbed gentle cries to myself and choked out calming words.

"It's okay Ty-lee. You…You're strong…"

I ripped the page out from my book and kissed it gently. Following the moonlight that led me to my window I opened it a crack and slipped the letter on to the autumn wind. I watched as it carried the soft poem to the sea and out of my range of view.

I went to bed dreaming that the letter found its way to Azula's underwater resting ground.

I cried softly to the hum of my own lullaby. Sleep greeted me solemnly.


	2. I remember The Snapdragon Harmony

_ I remembered…._

_The sun was just at its zenith, a spring wind carried apple blossoms throughout the grassy lands where I played with Azula and Mai after school. I could see Azula sitting contently under a tall maple; Mai sat close writing in her tablet, homework most likely. _

_ My arms carried a Pai sho table above my head, Azula looked over at me. Her features were very adult like, even at age ten. She smirked her usual expression and I called out in response._

_ "Zullie! I brought my sister's Pai sho board! Do you want to play? I'm getting better!" I placed the board across from her and sat down. She looked at the board carefully and eyed my bag of pieces. _

_ "Ty-lee, do you really want me to beat you at this again? We obviously know who's the better…" she frowned at me. We both knew what she was going to say, I didn't need to hear it, we both knew Azula was smarter than I. She had been beating me countless times at this game; I usually went home in tears. She was such a mean winner…_

_ "I…I do, I want to try, Azula." I said in a mock confidence. I would try my hardest as ever._

_ "Very well, child." She always referred to me as more demeaning names and was intimidating as an opponent, looking back now I realize it was more strategic than personal. _

_ I placed down our pieces and tiles, putting the boats, lilies, white jades and all the others n their appropriate position. I smiled at Azula, it would be a fun game never the less, but I was in to win today. _

_ "Make your move, infidel." She growled at me with such vitality even Mai looked up from her tablet. I studied the board carefully, thinking of her past strategies and the consequences of my actions. I placed my knotweed at the center of the board. My heart pattered, Azula's face was stone. _

_ "Child's play…silly girl." She placed her white jade tile four within the outer ring of my knotweed. I furrowed my brow; this was a stupid if not, risky amateur move. Mai put down her tablet and sat over to watch the game go underway._

_ I played Rhododendron, she played Jasmine, I moved my Lilly, and she played a boat. I watched as our pieces danced on the board, all revolving around my knotweed. She threw words at me, "dim witted like your father" or "please, are you trying to make this boring, or…are you really that dull?" I swallowed my fear and played as I felt it should have been. _

_ Mai's eyes were wide with excitement, I was quite proud, this game lasted longer than it normally did between me and Azula. I let my braid out and swirled my hair in the cool season air. My lungs filled with sweet air. _

_ My hands were shaking, I had already managed a harmony between my lily and white jade, yet Azula managed two between her white dragon, lily, and rose then again in her Chrysanthemum and rose. She maintained a cool demeanor that was to be admired by even the fiercest men._

_ She had no strategy, I noted. Every time we played she kept no pattern, no way for me to tell what her next move would be. I looked for a "poker face" and found that she didn't move, she didn't breathe, like you and I. Azula would absorb herself into the game, study not only the pieces, but her opponent, so this time I tried to be more sporadic. It ultimately helped me in the long run, yet Azula could get inside of me. She could hear me think, hear me breath. My plans were to no avail, I was finding myself in a corner. _

_ "Azula, you're almost there…" Mai spoke for the first time in the whole game. I looked over at her and she was deeply inset with her pieces. _

_ Her hand swiftly placed the Jasmine piece forward to create a harmony with lily, I watched. The Jasmine was in range of my knotweed, I took an immediate opportunity to get myself back in the game._

_ "I move my boat to push my knotweed towards your Jasmine, making it dead as well as your harmony." I spoke with some spike and hostility in my voice. I was getting excited quickly._

_ Anger flashed in Azula's golden eyes. Her aura sparkled bright reds and whites. Her fist clenched then she relaxed and looked calmly at me to, as expected, taunt._

_ "Very well, kill my harmony; I would expect such a…lowly move from a mutt like you." She placed her White Lotus tile forward; I could see where she may have been going. I went with my raw instinct and placed my rock tile on the board next to her white lotus._

_ "Trapped like a rat!" I giggled, I never got to tease and taunt, however, I wasn't too fond of it, but in this particular moment it felt kind of good. I could feel a strange power run threw me. Mai kept a watchful eye of my pieces._

_ For a moment I could've sworn she smiled at me, Azula did, but on second thought, I doubted it. She eyed me with caution in her expression and placed her Snapdragon diagonally left. It made a harmony with her Chrysanthemum but she still needed a point to win. She needed that White lotus. I looked at the board and watched out for all the disharmonies I had set myself up for. Looking back, I played some stupid moves. My hand shifted my rose piece up connecting it to my White Jade, which made two harmonies. I looked up at Azula, she sighed heavily. _

_ "I pass my turn." No taunt, no wild accusation about my intelligence. Just a statement._

_ Then it happened. _

_ I moved _my_ white lotus to the right connecting it to my previous harmony of white Jade and rose, giving the harmony an extra 2 points. I looked at the board. _

_ I had won._

_ "Yes, yes. Very well, Ty-lee. You are the winner. I congratulated you whole heartedly. You are obviously a worthy opponent…at times…" Her voice was a lovely chocolate sweet tone. I shook with excitement. She rose and started to walk back to the village. _

_ Mai looked at me and whispered. "How did you do that?" I smiled._

_ "I just played…" _

_ I looked down at the completed game on the board. I studied every piece. It was then that I noticed…_

_ Her snapdragon was two places away from her white lotus which was trapped by my rock tile, she couldn't move the snapdragon from the harmony yet she couldn't move the white lotus to fetch the point she needed to win. However, confidently placed behind her white lotus was a boat tile, which could move the white lotus out of the rocks range into the snapdragon harmony. She could've won if she hadn't passed._

_ She let me win._

I woke up in a cold sweat; the memory was so real…

I cried at the thought of my friend's random act of kindness…


	3. Vast Littleness In My Mind

It had been a couple days since I had that dream. I'd been having more and more dreams like that lately, some touching, some terrifying. I would remember the beautiful days of childhood, and the excitement of fighting by Azula's side. Other times I would remember how she would abuse me when I upset her a great number, or how she would lock me in the boiler room at random times. Mai never got locked in the boiler room, and she never would talk about what went on when I was in there…I still wonder. She never wanted to talk about it; she always pushed the subject away.

Once I day I guess I woke up screaming, Mai had to run in and shake me awake. I couldn't remember what I had been dreaming, however, she just sat there and patted my back. I told her I was fine and she let me be. It'd been days since then anyways…

Today I left the house; I was slowly but surely getting back into the habit of things. Feeding turtle-ducks by the ponds, shopping in the plazas, gardening new crossbreeds of tea leaves, and gymnastics of course. Today I decided I would make my way down to the beach, it would be hard for me, I knew this, but I would overcome it.

"See you around later, Mai. I'm heading down to the beach." I held by bag full of my towel, water and other stuff in my right hand.

"Alright. If you see Zuko while you're out tell him to come home, I want to talk to him." She kept her head buried in a book she'd been reading for a few days now.

"Can do. Maybe I'll pick up some marshmallow chatter monkeys on the way home…"

"Whatever…" She looked up and nodded her consent.

I made my way out the door and walked down the cobblestone path, the sun was high in the late morning sky and the pleasant breeze made this the most enjoyable day to go to the beach. The scent of coconuts and pineapples filled the air. Probably from a nearby fruit vendor, tis the season for tropical fruits around here…

I walked slowly down the shortcut me and Azula make to the beach a long time ago. It cut through a small section of town, running through a small forest, I could see the pressed down brush of where we used to walk together. I inhaled deeply; I could almost smell her, that deep mixture of morning dew and mandarins. It sent a feel of chills down my spine.

The beach was soon in my range of sight. Relatively empty today, other than a few kids on the far side of the beach and a shore walker. I could see a man sitting by the sore, his bare feet resting in the occasional wake of the ocean waters. I gained some distance and saw that the man had actually been Zuko. I sat next to him when I reached where he was. I approached him carefully, being sure not to startle him.

I sat down on the sand and placed my bag next to me. Zuko didn't even move.

"Haven't seen you out here in a while." He stared off into the sea.

"Yeah, well, you know…" I knew that he knew darn well why I wasn't coming down to the beach. It was scary going to the place of your best friend's departure from the land of living.

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry, Ty-lee." He took a deep inhale, held it there, and then exhaled in total relaxation. "I know she was a good friend of you'r-.."

"She was my best friend. No offence to you or Mai, but…Azula was…just different." I felt bad for interrupting but I had to correct such a serious error. "She knew how to make me smile, she knew how to pick me out from all of my sisters, and she could always pick out the best banana at the top of the tree…the one's she always knew I liked."

"Yeah, I noticed. She always had some kind of weakness for you." He drew his name poorly in the sand. I watched his fingers curve this way and that. "She talked about you often…"

"She…did?" I felt flattered and shocked at the same time. I never dreamed that Azula would think about me when she wasn't with me. I pried a bit further from my cursed curiosity.

"What…what would she say, Zuko?"

"That all my mean jokes about her never meant anything because alls she needed was herself and you. That she would have to wake up early the next morning to get to school early and leave a chocolate fire cookie on your desk…" he smiled at me as he spoke. I was astonished.

"She was the one leaving those on my desk?! I always thought it waste teachers way of thanking me for getting good grades…" I blushed hard. That was so…sweet of her…so…unlike Azula.

"She was the cruddiest sister to ever walk the Earth; however, I guess she must've made up for it with your friendship…"

"Yeah, she really did, Zuko, she really did…" I braced myself for a question I just had to ask. I didn't want to ask Mai, it would only lead to an awkward pity party and another talk about getting past the distress. I, for some reason, felt maybe that Zuko would…understand.

"Zuko…do you…think….maybe, she's still out there?" I looked out into the deep sea. It was so vast…so endless. She could be anywhere. I wondered how far she made it…

"Sometimes…I do, Ty-lee. Sometimes I do. But In my mind, I know she isn't. I know she's dead. I don't want to mislead you but…There's a chance…It's Azula."

I smiled. "That's all I needed to hear…"

"Yeah, just don't take it too far, ok? I like you Ty-lee. I don't want to see you get hurt." He patted my back.

"Zuko…can I tell you a secret?" I swallowed hard.

"Sure, Ty-lee. Are…you ok?"

"Sometimes…sometimes…I…" I started off stuttering like crazy.

"Yes?"

"Sometimes I hear her, Zuko. I can still hear her…"

…She was everywhere to me.


	4. Wrong In The Right

I smiled at Zuko. The situation was becoming awkward and difficult. He furrowed his brow at me and seemed to choose his following words carefully.

"What…exactly are you saying?" He shifted his body so he was facing me now. I apparently peaked his interest. Whether that was good or bad, I'd yet to find out.

"I mean, she's everywhere…at night I listen to the wind against my window, I swear it's her voice. I breathe in the morning air, it smells her. The brush of trees and fauna against my face, almost like her gentle touch." I looked out upon the ocean and wondered how far off my eyes would take me.

"_Gentle_ touch? Azula was never gentle…" He looked away for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. We both obviously had a lot on our minds.

"But that isn't the point. It's these little things…these little things, Zuko, that make me believe she's still with us." My vision trailed to a water surfer in the distance, he began to falter, and then bended the water back on the sides of his board to regain balance. Ever since the end of the war, the fire nation was a…friendlier place. Some may even say a vacationing sight.

"Ty-lee, we know she's dead. You understand that right?" his voice was gentle, I could almost see it carry on the wind.

"No. I understand that some think she's dead, but I believe she isn't." I grabbed some sand and let it run between my fingers.

"I know you're hurt, I know you're in a lot of distress but...let's face facts. The evidence-"

"The evidence doesn't mean anything!" In a swift motion I threw the sand into the vast trench of aqua. Most just hitched a ride on the wind.

"Ty, be reasonable! Even if she wasn't dead, she couldn't go far!" He grabbed my arm, a pulled away. "Ty-lee, her memory is still with us, let's be thankful for that."

"I don't need to be thankful for her memory when she's still here! Stop it!" My eyes burned and watered.

"She's dead! She's never coming back! She was selfish and stupid and now she's gone! I tried to be nice but your just acting idiotic, Ty-lee!" I could see the heat of his anger shine through his aura like the rising sun.

"No! You're being idiotic!" Tears gathered in my eyes and fell heavily down my cheeks. "You don't believe in hope! You don't understand!" The heat inside of me was growing and bubbling, I could feel my aggression. "And don't you ever call her selfish, or stupid! Ever! You don't know her like I did!"

"Just because you got special treatment doesn't mean she wasn't the horrible monster she really was! Open your eyes!"

"Shut up! She just needed help! She had nobody! You're just jealous! You…jerk!" I stood up and pounded my feet into the sand. He glared at me.

"I'm the jerk?! Get over yourself! I'm trying to help you! You're the one with the problem!"

"I don't have a problem!"

And with that I spun around on the ball of my heel and tromped back to the house. I knew Zuko would be on his was home soon as well so I kept a steady pace to keep him from catching up with me. I wasn't in the mood to keep arguing with him, he didn't understand, he wasn't in my situation. Zuko only added insult to injury at this point…

I turned at some corners and hopped a few rocks, I pulled leaves off tree branches that were low enough for me to reach as I passed them by. My thoughts drown out the world. I was enraged with Zuko for some reason, angrier that I should have, or wanted to be. I stomped up the cobble stone pathway to my shelter within minutes.

I didn't really mean to but with a loud crash I slammed the door behind me. Mai jumped, startled at my entrance. She looked up from her book and her eyes beamed into mine, she raised her eyebrows slightly.

"How was the beach?" He voice a smooth, milky monotone.

"Fine." My voice felt like venom in my throat, it boiled over in my words.

"You alright?" She put her read on the table and sat up. It seemed like she was almost beconing me to stay. I wasn't much in the mood to talk.

"Yeah, I'm fine. A long day, that's all…."

"Ty-lee. It's only two in the afternoon. Whatever…did you see Zuko anywhere?" Her eyes followed me around the room. I frowned hard.

"Yes. I did. He's probably on his way." I paced myself to my room and slammed the door behind me.

I jumped onmy bed and punched into my double stitch pillow until I had calmed down a bit. I could hear chatter in the other room after a couple of minutes.

…

"I don't understand what the problem is. I tried to help, all's she did was throw a tantrum!" It was Zuko.

"You wouldn't understand! Zuko, you think this is all something that will just…just go away?! No! Azula was…a part of Ty-lee! You obviously said something to upset her! It isn't like- "

"Yeah, and my mother was a part of me! You don't see me still sobbing about it! She has issues she needs to settle, Mai. It's been weeks, she's gained weight, she barely talks-"

"Yeah, she barely talks to you! " Mai's voice suddenly became a hush whisper. "Zuko, you don't get it, Ty-lee didn't just like Azula…she had an obsession."

"What do mean, an obsession?" His tone was now just as feather light.

"Zuko, I would catch her stealing hair out of Azula's combs, she would wear her clothes when Azula wasn't around, I've seen countless drawings, poems, everything! …Zuko, I've caught her watching Azula…"

"Like…do you mean stalking? She was stalking my sister?!" I could hear the abrupt confusion and shock in his voice. I clung to my bed sheets.

"Yes. When we were young and when we were in the war, I would wake up and fine both Azula and Ty-lee gone, and everytime I found them… Your sister would practice her bending, study a map, maybe plan out a stratigic battle plan, all in the late hours, and everytime I would see Tylee. She would hide in bushes, use her flexibility to cling to the ceiling…" Her voice trailed off.

"Mai, this isn't healthy. That's…abnormal! How do we know she doesn't watch us?!" His voice was enticed, enraged.

"Because, I kept records. I made it a point to study Ty-lee. She got up everynight, so I started to as well, she never gave me a second glace. She never bothered to go through my things. At first I thought it was all a plan on her end, a plan to overthrow Azula. With time and evidence, I proved that theory incorrect."

"What evidence?" I didn't need to see him, I knew Zuko was practically on the edge of his seat, like a child listening to a bed time story.

"She wouldn't go to study Azula's maps, she wouldn't look at the battle plans, when she snooped in your sisters things she always took useless things, like hair clips or a tube of lipstick. So after a while I thought maybe she was…well…"

"Mentally unstable? Because that's what I think!"

"Shut up, Zuko! She has some issues…she needs our help."

"Maybe it was for the best that Azula died, you know…for Ty-lee's sake anyway."

"I…I don't know, Zuko…"

They were wrong. There was nothing wrong with me!


	5. Lurking In The Dark

Soon the conversation settled and all was quiet. I could only hear the wind against my window frame. Squeaks came from the bottom of my throat and I felt the odd and almost terrifying sensation that you receive before you begin to cry. Like I was drowning, I swallowed and swallowed but still the air couldn't reach my lungs quick enough.

They didn't understand, Mai and Zuko. I didn't expect them to understand, Mai was always independent and careless, and Zuko with his recent spiritual journeys now only saw one side of situations. They made wild accusations about me, and I never expected them to talk about me like this behind my back. They were my friends, and I admired their help, but I didn't understand why Mai wouldn't come to me and get her facts straight first.

I had admired Azula since I was very small. She was cunning and sly, yet attractive and brilliant. She could do some many things that I just couldn't do. I wasn't witty or strong...I wasn't a fire bender! Just being Ty-lee wasn't enough sometimes, I wanted to be Azula, brave and courageous!

Sometimes I would watch her, I didn't recall it being every night, but I would. I would watch her study or meditate, I would watch her fire bend. I wanted to become more like her.

When she would fire bend there was a part of me that stung. Colors of blue and red would swirl and expand, contrast and spiral. It was almost art, the way the element danced at her whim. I would lose myself in her magic, she focused so hard, she became a part of the fire. Oh, and how she excelled at it. She was a master, born with a talent. And I was a child born with no bending abilities or special powers. To top it all of I was born with a multitude of other sisters that looked just like me. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to fire bend.

I knew if I could I would great at it, not the best...but I would practice everyday. That combined with my gymnastics would be a work of beauty. I could sit there and see myself do it, I would look so much more fierce. People would take me seriously. I would make art like Azula did. But I couldn't. All I could do was sit back and envy what she could do and I could not.

I sat up and realized how tired I was. My body didn't stay up as late as it used to anymore, I spent a lot of time sleeping now. My eyes were crossing and a disgusting taste found its way into my mouth. I crawled over to my dresser, my legs not up to the challenge of lifting my body, and slide open the bottom drawer. Dainty fingers of mine searched for treasure at the bottom, I couldn't see in the dark room, but I soon felt sleek crackly material.

A grin crossed my face and I pulled out my snack, a chocolate jasmine flower. Moonlight shined faintly across the goodies golden reflective wrapper, I was quick to rip that off. It soon enough was hurled into my mouth, and melted on my tongue cleansing my pallet in ways only sweets could. A natural stress reliever, making the corners of my mouth curve, making my body tingle in bliss. I sighed in contentment as I finished my flower and threw the wrapper in the corner.

Chocolate releases endorphins. Endorphins are good.

I laid down on the floor and sprawled my limbs out to their full extent. I could feel lactic acids trickle around and make my muscles burn from my strenuous acrobatic activity. It felt good to meditate like this, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. The air flowed in then left, swiftly my troubles went with it. I was at ease, such a drastic mood change...

Ch'clanck!

A noise filtered into the room. My eyes shot open. I sprang up like a box spring.

"Mai?" My words were hushed.

I heard no reply. It was all in my head. It was all in my head...

"Mai?" Again. Nothing. All in my head.

Then I looked behind me, my window wide open curtains bellowing in the wind. I could feel my pupils shrink.

The air came in quick then it stopped in my pipes. Burly hands wrapped around my face. One clutching tight into my right cheek, jagged short nails digging into my skin. I felt warm thick blood run down my face. The other hand held a cloth of some sort, pressed against my mouth and nose. I held my breath. Everything around me screamed. My head was yelling at me. Run. Fight. Hide. Scream.

My body was on fire, I couldn't think. I couldn't scream.

I couldn't scream.

The body was stone, I could feel bone and muscle. They held me close, and I tired to scream, air caught in the cloth, only air no sound. My body became weak, from the lack of oxygen, I knocked a potted poinsettia over, my eyes rolled into the back of my head and the world became blurry.

It was like being smothered in cotton. My movements felt slow as if I were underwater. Heat was building between my body and theirs, it made me uncomfortable. This all happened so fast, my body almost didn't have time to react. 

"Breathe" The voice whispered in my ear, their breath on my neck. All I could sense in the black room.

Breathe? Breathe. I need to breathe. I need air, I need air. I'm going to die. They're going to kill me.

I inhaled against my will. A thick murky air through the cloth and I everything was suddenly floating. I inhaled again. What was I doing?

Everything turned black and my eyes shut. I was going to die.

A dark, heavy, sleep greeted me with grim intentions...


	6. I remember Sipping Milk Tea

_Cool air rushes past my face, I spread my arms out like I'm flying through the night sky. Nothing can touch me. I am invincible. There is a light in the distance. Candles. I run to them. Grass tickling my bare feet. I come closer to the lights, holding tea bags in one hand, a sugar pot in the other._

_There is a table, a small collaspable table. One end sits Azula, at the other is Mai. I smile and greet them both, Azula looks at me._

_"Your late."_

_"I'm sorry. My mother went to bed late tonight."_

_"That's not an excuse."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_I place the tea into the water pot, it'd already hot and steaming. I take my seat and let the tea soak. A grin crosses my face, I love the smell of milk tea. Mai speaks._

_"I heard my mom talking today..."_

_There was a temporary silence after the drag of the sentence._

_"Interesting story, Mai." Azula speaks in sarcastic tone. Everything is as it should be._

_The stars are burning brightly. I decide to speak up._

_"What did she say, Mai?" She usually needed prompting._

_"Dad wants another baby. A boy he wants. Someone to follow in his footsteps."_

_I rose from the table and began to pour the tea, it was almost systematic. Two sugars for Mai, Azula liked half of the lemons juice, and just one sugar and a lemon wedge for me. I speak as I pour._

_"I'm sorry Mai...does this upset you?"_

_Azula laughs, it practically fills the field. "My dad didn't need to have a son. He had me to follow his footsteps. My mom just wanted one. Agni knows why."_

_I shot her a look. She met my gaze and didn't seem to catch the drift. I sat back down and tried to recover her comment. Mai spoke before I could._

_"But mother wasn't having it. Apparently I was enough for her. I don't blame her I only want one child...if any."_

_I sipped at my tea, it was warm and smooth going down my throat. Crickets chirped in deep in the field. I could hear them. Azula broke me out of the cricket's symphony._

_"I've decided I'm going to live alone when I'm older. I don't need people to survive. Only myself."_

_I frowned. "Don't you want to get married?" _

_"Men are repulsive."_

_"What about babies?"_

_"A setback in my life that I do not need."_

_Mai almost finished her tea. I rose and topped her cup off. She sighed and stated her opinion on the matter._

_"Azula do you ever consider that you need to have children to keep alive the family name?"_

_"I'm sure Zuko will have plenty of children, under the assumption that his rod works normally."_

_I laughed aloud. Tea dripped out of my nose and I brought a tissue to my face in embarrassment before anyone could see. Mai turned red and looked away angrily._

_"I hope they're all girls and blind." Azula._

_"That's what you wish our the next generation?"_

_"For him. I've decided to have a boy. When I'm sixty. I will adopt a child above the age of 12. He will be a fire bender and I will train him."_

_questioned Azula's parents capabilities._

_"Azula will we still be friends then?" I looked down into my tea. My reflection rippled in the gentle wind._

_"Probably not." She was blatant and didn't even sound hurt by it._

_"Azula!" Mai slammed her hand on the table._

_"What? It's true."_

_"Don't talk like that in front of Ty-lee."_

_"She isn't a baby Mai." _

_I wasn't. And suddenly a shuffling sound approached us. We rose from the table in an alert state. A small boy stopped dead in his tracks. It was Zuko._

_"No threat girls. Just a lost turtle-duck." Azula could be so mean._

_"Mom says its time to come home." He said it so 'matter of factly" to his sister. I assumed he must have loved having the parental card to fall back on when Azula was doing something wrong. He never spoke to her like that._

_She shot him a deadly look._

_"I'm going to kill you on your eighteenth birthday." _

_His eyes widened. "Azula!"_

_"Early in the morning. While you are asleep. I will come in..."_

_"Stop it! This isn't funny!" He's eyes teared up._

_"A rusty dagger. In your head."_

_"AZULA!" he screeched._

_"I will kill you and you will die. You will be dead. Dead." He started to sob._

_"Mom said GO HOME!"_

_"And how does mom know I'm here?"_

_He lowered his head. He had been caught. I felt bad for the boy but it wasn't my place to get in the middle of. _

_"Damn it Zuko! I swear to Agni...you better sleep with mom tonight if you want to wake up tomorrow." Azula was so sinister in tone._

_Mai rose from her seat and finished her tea. She gathered her China set and I grabbed my sugar pot. She walked over to Zuko._

_"I will walk you home." She said it hushed and looked down, if it hadn't been dark I would've been able to see her blush. He nodded and turned to walk with her. I didn't blame him for not wanted to walk home alone with Azula. They were polar opposites._

_Azula watched them walk away then turned to look at me. She smiled a classic Azula smile. _

_"I don't think we'll all be friends forever Ty-lee. I think Mai will join a convent at age twenty, then slowly loose contact with us until finally she kills herself."_

_I frowned at the morbid and detailed thought. Then I smiled at the meaning behind it. _

_"So you think that you and I...?" _

_"I don't 'think' anything Ty-lee." she folded her tables and chairs._

_"But you..."_

_"Same time tomorrow?"_

_"And the next day?"_

_"And everyday after that."_

_I smiled and watched her walk away. Then she turned to look at me. _

_"And Ty-lee?" She asked with a furrowed brow. _

_"Huh?"_

_"You're so fucking weird."_


	7. Those Who Seek Death

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. What is this?

Thump. I hear noise.

Crackle. A new noise...a rustling.

There is a light. A red light. It's hazy and everywhere. Is this what it feels like to die? Am I dead? No. I am not. Something is moving inside of me. Pulsing. I feel...empty. No. Full. I feel very full. I realize the pulsing is my blood...the thumping my head. Pain begins to set in slowly. The red hue is light beaming in through my eyelids.

I begin to regain conciseness. My stomach feels full of liquid, churning and wishing around. It bubbles inside of me and my throat begins to burn. I can hear a gurgling. Its like the noise water makes when it boils rapidly. The gurgling...is me?

"Ugh..." I turn over and vomit. I hear it spatter and smell the sharp disgusting odor. Like rotting flesh.

There is a new noise. It sounds hazy and foggy like when I was...being kidnapped? I was kidnapped! Where am I? I try to regain control of my body.

"...often will you?" This voice. Sharp. Demeaning. Familiar.

"W-what...?" I tried to speak. It didn't quite sound right.

"I said, you wont be doing this often will you?" That voice! That voice!

My mouth opened. I vomited again. I tried to breathe, the air was thick and burned my nostrils. Then I rolled over and opened my eyes.

"Azula..." The corners of my mouth lifted slightly with the word. "Azula..." It felt so good..say it again.

"Azula...Azula...Azula.." That's all I could say.

I looked over, and like Agni magic, she was there. I see nothing but her. I see Azula.

She stood above me looked down upon my wretched face. Her hair was choppy and cut unevenly in several places. The texture that looked like straw, but the same color of unused coal. It flowed unevenly down her face. In places it covered her tired eyes. Sleepy, golden paths to her core.

She became thin. Thinner. I could see veins in her arms and bruises like a map on her ivory skin. One that kept my attention, right beneath her now visible cheekbone. Her skin was dry...covered in a salty white crust of dead skin. She was covered in thin long clothing. Garments that hung off of her fragile body like wet sheets on a clothesline.

Heaving. I was heaving her name now. I looked closer at her. Locked on to her. She was having trouble breathing. I now noticed she was hunched over a little.

_ "Breathe"_

Breathe. Breathe... That voice. That memory of not so long ago...or was it so long ago? I wasn't too sure. Things started to clink in my head. Things that made sense. Things that didn't make sense. I opened my mouth to speak. I then quickly shut it. My stomach had not yet settled.

We sat there for a moment staring at each other. It wasn't awkward, nor did it frighten me. It was all too surreal. I watched the wind carry her hair. She spoke softly. As if we were hiding.

"Welcome to redemption." She held a boney hand out to me, her skin looked more like leather now.

I opened my eyes to their full extent to realize that we were probably, in fact, hiding. In a forest not too far from the palace. A candle in the hollow of a tree providing us a dim yellow light. I looked at her hand, then lifted mine.

She pulled me up to a sitting position. I looked down at my legs. I was still in my nightgown. It was time to say something, try to speak.

"Have I died? Did they kill me?" I inhaled and held my breath. Waiting for a response. My throat still burned from up heaving. I let out a slight cough.

"No. I did not kill you. You are very much alive."

I exhaled. She didn't kill me. Azula didn't...clink clink, all in my head. Things sputtered and tumbled like mad. I pushed a little more. She just stood there like stone.

"Are you dead?" I could honestly say as soon as I put the question out there I wanted to take it back. I wanted to suck p and gobble all of my words back into my head.

"No."

My eyes teared up and my mouth couldn't make words the way I wanted it to. Perhaps I was jumping to a quick conclusion. I had so many questions and she had all of my answers.

"But...how, they said...they found-"

"Those who seek death will never find it."

And in that sentence I had so many new things to ask...yet so many questions answered. Those who look for her death will never find the truth? As in, her stealth? Those who look for death in themselves shall never receive? Was is suicide? Failed suicide? Or was it the opposite? A rule to live by? Like she knew she couldn't die if she tried to, so she decided to live? I wanted to ask so much more but the beauty and mystery of that simple statement was so simply amazing that I did not wish to disturb it. I pondered my thoughts elsewhere.

"What happened?" I asked the broadest question possible, it was the only way I could get as much information as possible with little effort on my part. I was still waiting for something to go wrong, I was waiting for her to vanish into the air.

She looked high into the treetops.

"It isn't a story we have time for. I can only carry you for so long and dawn will break in a few hours."

She looked down at me so seriously. Her eyes grabbed me and kept me in place.

"You have a decision to make...Will you come with me? You can't ask any questions, you don't have time to think. The fork is approaching, choose a path."

My head began to spin and I wanted to vomit again. Pressure throbbed inside of my veins as I tried to think quickly. So much was happening in so little time and I was utterly frightened. I could go back to the life I knew. I could go back and tell them all...a tale they wouldn't believe. I looked at her with worried eyes.

"Yes."

"You've sealed your fate."

"I'm still worried this is all a dream."

"And what if it is?"

"Then it's entirely lucid and I've made my decision to stay asleep."


	8. Prison Break

Before I knew it we had raised from our humble spot in the forest and began walking through the thick brush. My knees were still weak and I stumbled not too far behind Azula. For looking as bad as she did, she certainly kept a good pace.

"You can ask a few questions as we walk... I can feel you biting your tongue."

It was comforting to hear this. I was dying to have questions answered, I couldn't bear waiting much longer. I ran to catch up with her, I almost fell and had to grab her shoulder to keep my balance.

"How did you fake death? How did you get out? Where did you go? Where have you been? What's going to happen now?" The words didn't seem to flow out of my mouth quick enough.

She stopped, turned, and looked at me.

"Do you really want to know?" What a silly question.

"Well of course I do!"

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. Then turned to keep moving. She was walking noticeably faster now.

"Fine. I'll tell you what I find appropriate. Shall I begin with my escape or did you have something else in mind?"

"No...that's what I'm curious about the most."

"As history would have it. Typical girl..."

I frowned, I wasn't typical. I was different wasn't I? Or did she mean that it was my typical behavior...?

"The escape wasn't easy in anyway. It took weeks of dedicated planning and observation, but I wasn't going to die, I was not going to be sentenced to death without a fight..."

It had only been a few words in and I was already hooked. Azula had always been a brilliant story teller. I was growing excited.

"So how did you do it?"

"I noticed a flaw in the security system. Everyday, at quarter to dawn and quarter after dusk my guards would switch off, not only to go on break but to go home for the remainder of the day. One walks out, one walks in...but not only that. I could see at those times everyday when the door was opened that everyone down the hall had also left for the day. This left me a small window of opportunity."

I could see it all in my mind. All of the guards and her rusty cell. The mental picture painted vividly in my mind. Her voice was passionate as she spoke.

"Well what did you do?"

"I decided to make a break at dusk, the man at dawn was too burly and chiseled to get away with easily. So when the time rolled around I walked over to my sink and took my hair brush. Cleaning out the brush I stuffed all the hair in the sink's drain and put the water on soon it flood over and onto the floor..."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because, the guards were informed not to covert with me, this was sufficient attention to bring him close enough to me."

"...That's so simple...but it's brilliant."

"Yes, as soon as the water started leaking out of my cell he approached, obviously to see what was going on. Quickly I grabbed his hair and rammed his head into the bars of my cell. It only took four good rams to kill him."

"But didn't he scream?"

"All the men within the radius were going home remember? Nobody left to hear him."

"Astounding."

"As are all of my plans. But either way, I pulled his skull in through the bars to keep him from falling backwards, I searched him for his keys and found them easily. But for some reason the damned bastard didn't have my fucking key! Who the hell guards a cell they don't have a key to?"

I looked at her sadly, Azula always got frustrated easily. I spoke with the mind set that it would help her catch her breath.

"How troublesome, how did you ever make it happen then?"

"Well, you see I had to dig into his rib cage, and pull out a bone, it was disgusting in there. Have you ever dug into a dead human body?"

"...No, believe it or not I haven't"

"Well it isn't fun. Never try it. As I was saying, time was of the essence now, I had to work quickly. I took the bone and grind it against the brick of the cell walls, within minutes I was able to bring it to a fine point. With some concentration and a little luck I was able to pick the lock an-"

"The locks are pick-able?" I was astounded. Never before had a fire nation prison been breached in such a way. She makes history in the worst ways.

"Well of course. Every lock can be picked, but that's beside the point. So I ran into the hallway and I could hear footsteps approaching. It was took late to escape through the door, so I had to jump out the nearest window. And well to make a long story short...I barley made it."

I was amazed. What an escape! She hadn't changed a bit...same Azula.

"So...how did you fake death?"

"You'll soon find out."

"W-what?"

"Next question."

"Where are we going?" I kept the questions simple now.

"Why does it matter?"

"...I'm just curious."

She sighed and put her hands in her pockets. This wasn't very reassuring, I was suddenly nervous...or more so.

"A darker side of the fire nation. I guess you could say the slums? More or less..."

I had never been to the unkempt part of the land, I heard frightening stories and tales about the area. Murders and kleptomaniacs, all sorts of shifty things going on around there. You always hear about people fleeing there when they were to high in dept or in a sort of trouble with the law. I wasn't quite sure if I had really wanted to enter that side of the nation...unarmed.

"What business have we there?"

"You. You are going to kill a man."


	9. Desires and Submission

You know what? I saw how many people wanted me to continue, so i did. (: Love me.

What? Come again? Excuse me? Pardon? Could you pass that by me once more?

The words dripped from her pallet like blood from a fresh wound. Fluid and swift like morning wind.

And all's I could muster was a simple "Oh."

However, what could I have said, in all fairness? Here I was, with a "dead" convict, in the run down area of the fire-nation, Agni only knows how far away from home.

And then I remembered Mai.

What was going to happen? How long would it be until she noticed my absence? Until she saw my bed unmade and no breakfast dishes in the sink? Would she send a search party? Of course she would, but how long would that take? How long could Zuko's wishful thinking keep her worries at bay? Where would they look? Did I leave evidence behind? No, of course not. Azula is too clever, too stunningly advanced in the art of stealth and sneak to have such an error in her plan, her plan that I was not yet aware of.

But then I asked myself the real question, the important one.

Did I want to be found?

"You're taking this well, Ty lee, should I believe that you've grown synical in my absence?" She let out a low laugh, her signature laugh, that rare throaty chuckle. Was that sarcasm? I couldn't tell, it had been too long.

"…Azula you know that I can't…" So softly the words crept out of me, as if afraid to penetrate the cool night air.

"But you will. Don't make me the bad guy, Ty lee. I don't have to be the bad guy."

"I don't understand….why? You show up suddenly, kidnap me, tell me barely a smidgen of anything to work with, and expect me to…to…" The words wouldn't come out, even saying it was just too wrong for me, too out of my character.

"Think of it as insurance…"

"Insurance?" We were talking currency? In a place like this, in a time like now?

"My secrets for yours" Of course not.

"Azula you know my secrets…you know my everything." Almost.

"But nothing is good enough, Ty lee. Nothing is dirty or scandalous enough for me to hang over your head. Stealing pumpkin seed from the local vendor is hardly a crime."

"…It's blackmail…" My heart sank, and I began to feel trapped.

"See now that makes me sound like the bad guy… He's about to die anyways, I already picked you out a target. I knew better than to assume you wouldn't be so picky."

…Picked me out a target… Assume I'd be so picky…. Her language, she had diffidently been plotting this for a while, and by the way the spoke, with such a rustic feel about her, it had most likely been a while she had been plotting. I became quiet and docile as we began to twist and coil through back allies and under broken street lamps, which were more common than not.

But even though the streets reeked of cabbage and chitins, or the poor man's meal, I followed her quickly. She was like a gift I wasn't ready to give away. I would cling to her as much as our friendship would allow, as much as was acceptable.

It's a weird feeling, that feeling of total submission, you're the puppy and she's the trainer. She has so many other things in her life, so many thoughts to revolve around, and in that one moment all you have is her. Trotting along, unthinking, uncaring of arising circumstances because in that moment you feel like all responsibility is lifted from your shoulders, your actions are directed by someone smarter, wiser, and you trust them with every fiber of your being.

We stopped at a faded red house, it was small and the shutters had been torn off and thrown carelessly into the yard. The grass was a crispy brown and the windows covered in thick soot, a clothes hanger hung in the front yard. It held a large robe and many white socks. However they all looked well past dry and unattended to.

"Here…this is the man…he lives alone, and every morning he scarves down a bowl of oats and fruit…such consistency would surely kill him."

I remained silent, staring at the poor abused house.

"Don't act like that…you'll just slip a little of this into his oats and slip out of the house. Then we can be…" she coughed, it was wet and concerning, and it drew my full attention to her instantly "…on our merry way."

She held in her delicate bruised hands a petite vial, no bigger than her pinky finger. It contained a thin brownish liquid, and was sealed up with a cork. She shook it lightly.

"…What is that?"

"Ty lee…don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to."

She opened the palm of my hand, and placed it gently inside, clutching my fingers around it, as if that was where it truly belonged.

This is the part where I would protest, the part where I would say "No" and realize that she was insane and go home. The part where I would beg for compromise "No, Azula, anything but that!" I would say and plead the best I could….However, I didn't. The thoughts hadn't crossed my mind, perhaps the series of events before me were too fast, took my breath away too soon to make me realize that taking a life was not as easy as knitting a sweater or heating up tea. It was not something average and should not have felt as such, but I all worried about was one thing.

"What happens…if I do it? Then what?"

"Then we leave…together." For a moment her voice was softened over, like butter.

Together…that word was like a cure-all. It was a secret weapon and she didn't even know it. Or perhaps she did, I wouldn't put it past Azula to calculate such things. I let my guard down to her, she could promise me this…when this was what I really wanted. Life at home…I loved it, I loved my friends, but it had nothing to offer me. Azula…she was different. She is her own world, my world.

I rubbed the vial in my hands as if it were a precious key. I questioned my morals for a moment, was it right, to take a life for my own selfish desires? Her words rang in my head, I could smell the sweat and fluid emit from her body, and it was, in its own unusual way, intoxicating.

Finally, like a drunken solider, I shuffled toward the small house, I couldn't have reached seven steps before she uttered…

"That's my good girl."

And then it came crashing back, all of it. A relapse of the most powerful drug I had ever known.

Azula's gentle praise.


	10. A Butterfly's Wings

I thought it would be one of those moments where minutes felt like hours, walking up to that shabby old home. Instead I felt like I was flying, hiding in the shadows up to the window on tippy-toes, sliding open the dusty glass window with the broken lock. I used what Mai called my "sneaky fingers".

I could be a master thief, if I wanted. I knew I was stealthy, I knew I was fit for the job, but murder? That was…a little unorthodox. A little impetuous.

A hop, skip, and a jump off the low led sill and onto the old wood paneled floor was child's play, yet still the aged pine moaned loudly under my soft bare feet (because shoes make too much noise, of course) and that was new to me. I stared down curiously at my footing. What had caused the floor to shriek so loudly under me? Did I DO that…?

I think, perhaps physiologically, I wanted to be distracted. My ID wanted so badly to please Azula, yet my ego and superego so desperately desired a hasty failure.

I shimmied across the floor quietly to where the pots and pans hung somewhat neatly in a row, nailed to the wallpapered kitchen wall. I caught my reflection in the least worn pot.

My hands trailed down my breasts, down stomach, my hips… Perhaps I had gained weight. However, I would never be the one to call it bad weight, my hips more developed, my theighs more defined, it was a softening weight, a lady-weight, a sexy weight.

However, it was hindering, would I keep my somewhat post-pubescent curves at the sake of flawless stealth, or would I need to work masterfully to regain my muscular posture and demeanor? How often would I truly have to do this? It seems as though I'd be with Azula more than anything, and for that sake, yes, I would keep my curves, perhaps she could enter me in a dog and pony show. Metaphorically, of course.

Becoming lost in my own thoughts, my own vanity, even if for a moment, became a deadly flaw, sidetracked and blind my hands shook. Unaware, the vial dropped from my left grasp onto the wood-floor with a light _pink _and a crack, I could only stare as the vicious liquid oozed into a puddle on the ground.

And in such a simple blunder, such an amateur mistake, the mission became near impossible. I quickly had to reanalyze, I had already been in there too long and I feared that if I took any longer I would risk the chance of Azula leaving on without me. What was the mission? To kill. Did it matter how? Perhaps not, it was to ensure my loyalty to Azula. Could it still be done? Of course, there's a million ways to kill. Could I do it?

…Could I?

My eyes, never resting, scanning the room corner to corner for anything that could do the job. What would be less painless? A blunt object to the head, or a bread knife to the jugular? I thought of the blood. No I could not do that. I thought of the warped skull. No, I could not do that either. Suffocation, perhaps. But he would struggle, put up a fight, know he was about to die. Remember my face, unforgiving. No, I could not do that as well.

But I could always block chakra, I could always block arteries. Could I use my talent like this? To murder blindly? I had to, I was a trapped butterfly caught up in the flame of a candle, too close to fly away, all I could do now was fly though quickly with precision and mastery, and hope my wings weren't so fragile.

There was nothing like the feeling of that moment, knowing you can't turn back, that there is NO way out but onward. I had to let go of my own mind, I had to do this blindly, like a machine, unfeeling.

I stopped worrying about my stealth and more about my time, I was becoming blatant, I tromped down a hall and through the door where I found the old man lay, snoring lightly, on his bed under his quilt.

I walked up to him more quietly, more aware of what needed to happen next, there was no stalling. No more detours.

The first blow was, and always is, the hardest, located near the pulmonary artery, it was a swift motion, like a frogs tongue jutting out for that spilt second to catch the butterfly, then recoiling with its prey, just as fast as it appeared.

He lay motionless, still in REM sleep, I could see his eyes flutter behind the lids. One after another, I hit more arteries, more chakra. Now it was only a matter of time, to watch as the blood would struggle and hope perhaps he would not suffer. His pulse began to slow, and eventually his eyes began to flutter open.

I held my breath.

"Gaia…?" His voice was dry and hoarse, and his eyes fell in and out of focus on me. I remained silent, still holding onto what little breath I managed to suck in.

"Gaia is that you…? Why haven't you come to see me sooner, Gaia? Aren't you still my little girl…?"

I had never felt such emotionally intense pain, this man was going to die, I was going to kill a father, one who still felt so dearly about a daughter he mistook me for.

I hesitated then spoke lightly "Of course… You know how busy I am…"

"Are you still seeing that boy, Gaia? He's such a nice boy… I knew you'd have the best in life…Your mother was the same way…"

If he was going to die, I'd make his last moments pleasant. I would play along, only to regret it later.

"Yes, daddy, we're getting married. I wanted you to be the first to know…"

"Oh, my little flower… you're getting married…you're getting married…" His smile was only a silhouette in the dark room, but it was weak, and his eyes were beginning to roll back slightly.

"I'm so glad you're happy for me. I can count on your blessings?"

"Of course… my blessings…" he became breathy quickly, I sat on the bed near his and held the old mans hand. It was soft and wrinkled, old strong hands, hands that solved many problems and held many darling people.

"I love you, daddy."

"My Gaia…" with a final squeeze of my hand, he fell into eternal slumber. I lifted my hand and let his slip off of mine. Holding back tears, I covered him up neatly, and made him look presentable for whoever may find him this way, perhaps his Gaia, his precious flower.

My exit was hasty and rash, I couldn't leave the presence of the area soon enough. I wanted to get back to Azula, back to something comforting, something I knew well.

I learned my wings were made of steel, yet my heart was made of the finest sand.


	11. Something Sensual

Gaia… Gaia….Who was she? What did she look like? Was she beautiful? Was she successful? How old was she? When was the last time she got to talk to her father?

My conscious was a fluttering mess in those few minutes it took to return to the end of the pavement outside of the ramshackle home. I felt like I was in a horror story, one of those surreal moments where there was nothing beyond myself and what I had just done. There were no waves rolling on the beach, no snow falling in the northern water tribe, no turtle-ducks soundly sleeping in their nests. The world simply stopped turning except for me.

The moment, however, was short lived.

Azula was right where I left her, hunched over, hands on her knees, coughing- no, hacking- loudly as her body trembled. She became notably feeble in isolation. I ran to her side immediately.

"Are you okay? Azula can you breathe?"

She continued to cough, it was wet and troubling. That was a sign of an pneumonia …or the flu? Bronchitis maybe? My medical ability is shabby and amateur at best.

Finally her cough dulled to a light throat clearing, she looked up weakly.

"Yes…If I wasn't coughing then THAT'S when you should be concerned… Coughing means I'm getting air. I'm fine."

"You don't look so good…maybe we should fine a pharmacy and-"

"And what? Walk in peachy-keen and ask them if they'd please give us some cough syrup? It's too late for that anyways, if we don't hurry we're going to miss it."

"Miss what?"

"The freighter." And with that she looked back at the old house and shifted her weight to one side. She changed the subject and spoke again, not giving me any time to inquire the meaning behind why we needed to catch a boat.

"A dead mans possessions have no romance… Ty lee, go back inside and round up everything you can. Anything useful. Clothes, food, blankets…"

No. I couldn't go back in there. Not again, not after that. That house would forever be the proper setting of my nightmares. Already I was trying to forget what it looked like, and now she wanted me to make a second trip, I felt my lip begin to quiver with an overwhelming emotion, a sort of an overwhelming sadness.

"Azula…I can't go back in there… " I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt the salty water burn the cracks in my lips.

She remained silent, eyes narrowed upon me. She was reading me. I held my breath trying to hold back any more tears, any more sobs of air. Then her hand jut out quickly, and I recoiled, bracing myself for some level of displeasure.

But I felt no pain. Her hand rest gently atop my head. I opened my eyes slowly and my shoulders relaxed back down to their sides. Her touch was tantalizing, I could feel her lightly roll my locks into coils around her fingers. Looking down at me she spoke with a soft authority.

"Very well…you've done your part for today… You did what I asked even though it was against your own personal morals. I won't ask anything else so daring of you for today."

Praise. Satisfaction. Compassion. It was all so stimulating to hear her pleased with me, to see her lips curl upwards if only slightly, that combined with her touch made it all the more exciting. I wanted to fall into her, be surrounded by her.

And although I had never really thought about it until that moment, some part of that feeling, that submissive, responsive feeling was very sexual. I had never been one to think about sex too hard or too often, but this new and undeniable. Yet, as soon as it was there, it fled when her hand fell back to her side.

"However, I am disappointed that you aren't willing to go above and beyond my expectations. Putting in a little extra effort never killed anyone. And it certainly didn't save that poor old bag."

…And there was the catch twenty-two. My stomach sank and I sighed, lowering my head in embarrassment and self loathing. I should have expected this, I should have just listened.

"Pick your head up now, I'm sending you on ahead while I go gather the things…You'll need directions"

"You mean alone? But Azula we just reunited! I don't want to be away from you so soon like this!"

She took a deep exhale and laughed low and somberly. I realized after the fact that perhaps my words were too eager, and too affectionate. But all too frighteningly true.

"It won't be long, I'm trusting you to go on ahead by your lonesome. I'm testing you…"

Her last words lingered in the air, and her forefinger trailed down the profile of my jaw, she put her face exceptionally close to mine, forcing our eyes to meet.

I'd never seen Azula this way. It wasn't polite, that isn't the word. It was something else. It was sensual and erotic, but at the same time it wasn't, it was also fearsome and terrifying. It was almost as if she was teasing me.

But that's hard to explain, because as a child teasing is something different. It's a scuffle on the playground or a sarcastic statement. Then at some point when you get older, when you get a little wiser, teasing takes on a new meaning. When your mouth waters at desires, when your hands lust to grope the fruits of something exhilarating, but you just cannot.

Slowly she pulled away from me, and I had to force myself not to plummet forward into her body. My knees were fragile and my body was searing, I had to consciously remember how to stay upright.

"Now will you listen to me, pet?"

I trembled slightly at the nickname, at all the things it could have meant. Unlike my usual self, my mind was set vastly on all of the erotic innuendos, when it could have just been a charming designate. I could barely nod, I was truly fixated on her.

"Good, then follow this path down to the corner market, from there go left but I'd like for you to travel by rooftop from there. It's very heavily guarded down by the docks. Keep to the set of houses to your right. Eventually if you keep going down those lines of houses for a while, you'll reach one with a chimney, the very first one with a chimney. I want you to shimmy your way down into that home."

"And then what…? What if the owners wake up?"

"It's occupied by a sole young man, he'll be expecting you, Ty lee, don't worry about that…"

"Expecting me? But how wou-"

"We'll have plenty of time to talk later, I promise. Now you have to go, before the dawn breaks. I'll be with you soon." And like that, she was off again, toward that nightmare of a living establishment.

And I took off down the slums of the fire nation.

Alone. In the dark.

….

A/N: Hey! I'd like to give a quick shout-out to Rioshix forreading every chapter and giving an individual review for each chapter! I really appreciate all of that feedback, and it makes the writing process so rewarding. I'd also like to thank my "not so secret admirer" Loner-in-disguise, for her amusing reviews as well. Thanks to all of my faithful readers.


	12. A Feeling of Foreshadowing

Rooftop travel was never hard for me. I say this because even as a child I constantly found myself hanging from gutters or jumping from window platform to window platform. It was second nature, like breathing. The feeling of the wind in my hair during each jump was as familiar as my own heartbeat.

This side of town, however, was not.

It was worn down and the air was thick and salty from the nearby ocean. I could see the faint glisten of the moonlight on the water if I stood upright, but I tried to avoid that because, per usual, Azula had been correct, there were guards everywhere.  
I would jump at the slightest creak in rooftop shingles, which happened often because of the state of the community, but never the less, I would freeze and make sure that nobody had spotted me atop these ramshackle houses. I wonder if the civilians could hear me below, or would they be so soundly sleeping in their beds? It's funny how even when you're asleep, the world keeps bustling around you.

Within minutes I found the house I was looking for. First chimney on the small street near the docks. The road was well lit yet empty, and I peered down the chimney, expecting to see a mesh of soot and darkness. However, I was greeted with a clean polished chute with light filtering up at the bottom. …As if someone had been expecting me.

To say I was hesitant would be understating the situation. I didn't want to jump into a foreign man's home, I didn't want to explain what I had been through today, and I didn't want to be away from Azula any longer. Yet as I began to doubt myself I could see a vague shadow rounding the street corner, I was at high risk of being spotted and any father pause would most likely result in the worst. With a deep breath, I climbed atop the edge of the chimney and plunged feet first into the new environment below. I landed on the soles of my feet with a dull thud.

It was a comfortable looking house. The most notable feature was that most everything was of a red or golden hue. Even the walls were a dull burgundy with a glittering gold trim, it was almost tacky, although, in this scenario it was so well executed that it borderlines perfection. Everything was dim lit by candles in their golden carriers on the wall, and there was a desk in the corner adorned with a mass of paper work and heavy looking novels. I took a few steps forward to examine some pictures on a nearby mantel. My heart warmed with such touching paintings.

There was a young man, must've been about my age, with choppy dirty blond hair that went in every direction. His eyes were brimming with excitement and a consoling joy and they absolutely glowed the most astounding jade green I'd ever seen. His eyelashes were thick and gave him a touch of femininity. He was sitting in a field of what seemed like wheat just beaming at the painter, almost intoxicated by life itself.

If this was the man expecting me, then I was going to be okay.

However there were other paintings atop the mantel, most of them were of another man, a tall man with stormy blue eyes that held just an intense gaze you could probably get lost in them forever. In every picture his black hair swooped down just above his right eye and he kept a confident looking aura about him. One of the paintings happened to be of this man and Azula, working together to bend a massive looking fire dragon.

Oh so he was a bender…? No, this was the man I was here to see. This was one of "Azula's people".

I'd been so lost in the watercolors and charcoal sketches that I hadn't noticed a presence in the corner of the room. I turned to greet him, then realized how unusual the image before me was.

The boy sat in the corner, staring up at me. In nothing but his underwear and what seemed like a collar. Even then, his underwear seemed more like tight cotton shorts than they did anything else. His body pressed into the wall behind him, as if trying to keep away from me, I took a step back as if to ease his fears. His eyes shot into me with such an intensity I was almost compelled to cradle him in my arms, and they absolutely glowed with the most astounding shade of jade green I had ever seen…

Then I realized he was the boy in the painting on the mantle. My eyes widened. He looked so different in the painting, so carefree and at peace, yet here he was, stripped down and gazing onto me like a frightened turtle-duck.

I tried to speak with utmost care. "H-hello…"

His shoulders dropped only slightly and he looking down at the wood flooring beneath him.

"…Can you speak?"

"…May I?" His voice was soft and fragile; he looked up to make seconds worth of eye contact.

"Well why not? It's… it's not my decision as to whether or not you can speak." I tilted my head in confusion.

Then a deeper, sultrier voice entered the conversation, and a tall man entered the room. "No. It's not."

This was the opposing man in the paintings, the man that was expecting me. He grinned down at me almost devilishly; his deep blue eyes glistened with an emotion I could not place.

"Good evening Ty-lee. I see you've met Kenji…" He gave the young man in the corner a very superior smile and said almost condescendingly, "Come now, Kenji, we have a guest, greet her accordingly!"

Kenji looked over at me again, significantly more unperturbed than before and slightly inclined his head. "Welcome to our home... Is there any way I can make you feel more comfortable?"

The particular wording off the question threw me off. Why didn't he just ask if he could get me anything, or tell me to make myself at home? I smiled somewhat awkwardly to my dismay and shook my head, to which Kenji nodded proceeded to keep his head down, eyes pinned at the floorboards.

I looked back at the Sauvé and well groomed man before me.

"I was told that this house was occupied by one…" I kept my hands close to my body, and stood on my toes, something about this man was charming yet frightening.

"Oh, don't worry about Kenji. He's nobody to you… I'm Satoru. A friend of Azula's. "

"I'm sorry, but…I've never heard of you before." My words didn't sound mean or displeasing but they certainly let my curiosity shine through.

His demeanor was constantly collected, constantly aloof. "A recent friend."

"I see. Azula said you'd be expecting me?"

"And I was. This is just a temporary bunker until she arrives. So please, make yourself at home. "

And with that, Satoru casually walked over to Kenji and kneeled down to his level, as if to speak to him. However, I let myself become curious once more.

"Satoru…? If I may ask…why is Kenji…?" I could feel my face become hot at the implication of his Kenji's exposed body.

In return, I received no verbal reply, however, the handsome composed man, leaned into Kenji and bit the soft skin of his exposed neck, right above the collar. Kenji's body shivered and his jade eyes closed slowly as his naturally puckered lips parted innately. Satoru bit and sucked at the young boy's soft skin with such an undying hunger that for a moment I thought certainly he must've been showing off.

My eyes were locked to the young men, my mind screamed in protest, my hands were shaking in discomfort, or maybe even a sort of excitement. To see a man lust so strongly for another man's body sent shivers through me. The only noise was the sound of my battered breath.

Until a small moan made its way past Kenji's soft lips, and with that Satoru pulled away from the boy's neck, exposing a small reddish-plum colored mark on his suckled skin.

"Be a good boy and run us a bath, Kenji…"

"Yes, sir." I noticed now that his voice was not as fragile. It was now more relaxed and contented. His expression no longer so fearful, but almost as carefree as the painting adorning the mantle depicted.

As he rose, Satoru gave his rear end a small whack and a low chuckle. Kenji's face flushed a bright red and he hurried off into the next room, not bothering to acknowledge my presence any longer, but after a spectacle like that, I didn't blame him.

"Why, Ty-lee, you look like you've seen a ghost…" The firebrand man's smile was ear to ear, and was haughtier that I'd ever seen. I couldn't even begin to fathom a reply. I couldn't even begin to fathom a noise. He sat on the floor and calmed his smile.

"Don't tell me that bothers you… The idea of two men… consummating the flesh?" His eyebrows perked in interest. I stumbled around my thoughts, still unable to find the right words. Of course it didn't bother me.

"Or perhaps… it excites you?" His shit-eating-grin was back again, mocking me. "The body works in such funny ways."

Finally when I had the chance to catch my breath, Kenji was in the doorway again, head down, arms at his sides.

"I ran a bath, sir."

"Good pet."

There was that nickname again. Pet. A title Azula did not hesitate to call me not too long ago. I swallowed at the implications of the nickname, because Saturo's were obviously much different than mine. But were they different than Azula's? So much mystery in a three letter endearment.

He rose slowly and joined Kenji in the doorway, locking his arms around the young pet's waist, and calmly looked my way.

"Please, try to relax while you're here. Azula will most likely be here shortly and I'll bet a bit of sleep sounds rather pleasant to you right now."

To be honest, it did. I hadn't realized how tired I was until he mentioned it just now.

"Make yourself at home, feel free to nap on our couch or make yourself some tea…" And on that note, he slipped a finger into Kenji's leather collar and gently tugged him into the other room.

I didn't hesitate to lay down on the plush maroon couch. I tilted my head back for a moment to collect my thoughts, but instead it was deep slumber that greeted my being.


	13. The Everything Place

I wasn't asleep for very long before I was awakened by the gentle touch of frail hands, they shook me gently. I peered my eyes open and my head throbbed from a slumber not yet completed. Kenji stared at me with coy eyes. He spoke softly, as if all of his words were part of some great secret.

"Your mistress…she's in the other room. She prompted me to waken you. I'm sorry…"

My head was still foggy and my eyes took time to adjust to even the dim light of the room. I had to do a double take on his words.

"My…what?"

"Your mistress… Azula?"

I stared at him for a moment and he returned the stare. I didn't understand what he was saying, but before I could ask he raised his eyebrows in realization.

"Oh…she isn't your mistress, is she?"

"Well…no. She's not…"

And then I sat up, cracking all the vertebrae in my back and stretching out my poor aching muscles. When my body became more contented to being awake again, I looked back at Kenji to ask a more personal question.

"Is that what Satoru is to you…? Your…master?" The word was unusual and felt odd coming out of my mouth. I almost felt dirty for just saying it.  
Kenji smiled a little to himself and sat Indian style on the wood floor. "Satoru is a lot of things to me, but yes, master is one of them…"

"Why do you let him treat you like that? Does he force you to walk around barely clothed? Why do you wear a collar? Are you here against your will?" I tried so make myself sound like a trustworthy person, if he needed help I wanted to be the one to help him. His smile widened and his expression grew warm. He let out a gentle chuckle and spoke so fluidly to me.

"Satoru is my master, but he is also my lover. I do these things because… well there are a lot of reasons. I love Satoru, and that's one of them, but also…I love the things he makes me do, because they make him happy."

"But this is…" I looked at the collar around his neck, "…this is abuse."

"No no… You don't understand…"

"Well what is there to understand about the way he's treating you?"

"I choose this life. I could leave at any time, Ty lee."

Now this I couldn't believe. How could someone as dashing as this young man choose to live a life of bondage when he could have such a promising future ahead of him? What would compel someone to live such a tormented life?

"Does he hit you?"

"Sometimes, but only when I don't listen. He never hurts me out of hatred or spite. "

"That's horrible! Why do you let h-"Suddenly Kenji cut me off, his voice just as delicate and wavering.

"Because I like it this way. It's a system. Yes, the lows are low but that's all anyone ever see's. Nobody ever gets a change to see the advantages to my life because the negatives are just so much more interesting."

I remained quiet. There was a pause in his breath but I could see he was gathering his thoughts, he wasn't done explaining.

"He takes me places. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing places. We've traveled the world together practically. Nobody knows what it feels like to be in his arms in a field of corn when the only light around us is the Milky Way, or what it feels like when he carries me home from hiking because I broke my ankle three miles away. He's still a good man. This is just…the roles we play. I please him and he pleases me."

"It sounds like you're playing on sex for love, and he's playing on love for sex." I realized afterwards my words were rather bitter, I recoiled my body a little, ashamed for snapping so suddenly.

"It isn't like that; do you truly believe that no part of him yearns for my love and that no part of me lusts for his sex?"

That was something I hadn't thought of. He paused for a moment, trying to read my expression, or so it seemed, then he softened his gaze and stood, taking my hand.

"Let me show you something."

I rose off of the couch and he led me out of the room down a nearby hallway. We passed a room with a closed ivory door, and I could hear the faint sound of Azula's voice behind it. So desperately did I want to snatch my hand away and bolt through the door back to her, but begrudgingly I continued on down the hallway.

He stopped at the door at the very end of the hallway and let go of my hand, I hadn't noticed how warm his hands were until the cool air hit my exposed fingers. Kenji opened the door slowly, and led me inside.

When he lit the candles upon the walls everything began to shimmer. It was almost a room of white light for some mere moments. I squinted in the light and could make out the twinkling of thinned glass. Then as I became more accustomed to the light, I realized everything in this room was glass.

Heaven hath not beauty like that of this room.

Dragons, roses, men, women, turtle-ducks, houses with little picket fences, suns, moons, everything a person could dream up was in this one small room, composed of a fine glass sitting atop a curio shelve.

I turned to look at Kenji, whose eyes had turned glossy as if he might cry.

"What is all of this…?" 

"This is our everything place. Me and Saturo made all of this ourselves. Everything we dream, everything we love is in this room."

"You _made _all of this?"

He nodded slowly and gently fingered the hole in a glass grape-vine.

"I'm an Earth bender. I bend the sand and he heats it to glass."

An interbending relationship.  
"If you're an Earth bender then how did Saturo and you come to be…?"

"He took me prisoner during that great hundred years war…"

"You fell in love with your captor?"

"He fell in love with his prisoner."

I became quiet then. Slowly walking around the everything room, I admired every piece of glass art there was. The more I looked; there more the glass told me a story. Perhaps it was possible that they could live this way, as master and slave, but also as the truest of lovers. Maybe it was I that had a mind so closed that I couldn't see the amorous nature behind Saturo's sharp stare. To see so many moments in time in one room, so many feelings embedded into single tumbler structures, it was inspiring. It made me forget for a moment that I had killed a man, or that I went months wishing I had the curse of death, or that I was leaving the life I knew behind for one of uncertainty. All that was, was the glass everything.

And then there was a shuffle of boots on wood paneling. I turned to see a familiar face in the doorway.  
"It's good to see you're still alive. Did Saturo give you any trouble while I was gone?" Azula grinned at me and I found myself almost levitating to her.

"No, not really…"

"Good. Then let's hurry up and get out of here. Go wash up in the bathroom, and I suggest you use it. We have a long trip ahead of us and there's not going to be any pit stops."

With a nod she led me to the bathroom and I took her advice. Relieving myself and washing up best I could. When I exited she lead me back to the front door of the house, where Kenji found his way back to Saturo, who spoke to him with soft authority.

"Kenji, you stay here while I go help the girls…I won't be long."

The little blond pet replied with a nod and received a quick kiss on the forehead, his face turned peach colored and he smiled up at me for one last moment.

"I'll write you letters, friend." His hug came as a surprise to me, but not an unwanted one, as I found myself wrapping my arms around him also. Azula averted her eyes.

"How will you know where I'll be? I don't even know where I'll be."

"Saturo knows." Somehow his answer didn't surprise me. Finally he broke the hug and smiled at me once more, as if not to forget my face, and shuffled out of the room.

Azula crossed her arms a little and began to push her way out of the front door. "Now that we're all done with our hugs and kisses and goodbyes, I suggest we leave _now._" Saturo laughed a deep sultry laugh at her.

I followed Azula out into the cool night air. It would be dawn soon, as the very horizon of the sky began to shine the faintest light blue. Azula grabbed my hand with a light squeeze and ran with me down the port street, Saturo not far behind.

I never wanted to let go, her hands were warm. They were secure and familiar and everything I knew.

Every now and then Azula would look back at me and an expression would overcome her face, as if she was glad to see that I was keeping up, or even glad to see that I was still there. Her eyebrows would relax and the tension in her face would leave for a moment.

Soon I we found ourselves in the back port of the loading dock, everything was boxes and wooden crates. Occasionally you could hear a man far up yell instructions such as "Put them on the next one!" Or "She's good boys!"

Azula slowed her pace and Saturo took point. He stealthily led us to a large wooden crate, and I watched with intense anxiety of being caught as he moved aside one of the walls of the crate.

"Your chariot awaits, ladies." He motioned us inside the dark dampened crate. I looked at Azula in horror, but she was already sliding inside.

"You can't be serious…" I maintained a hush tone. "We both won't fit in there! And it's dark…and who knows where we're heading and what happens when they unload us? This will never work…!" I could feel my anxiety grow.

Again, Azula grabbed my hand and began to lead me inside.

"Yes, it'll be a tight squeeze for a while, Ty lee. But I promise, when we're on the water, you can ask as many questions as you want. You just need to trust me."

The bribe of unlimited question asking was mouth wateringly tempting, but that wasn't what got me inside the crate, it was the memorizing feel of Azula's touch. Her hand in mind.

I never trusted anyone more.

Saturo laughed and grinned at Azula "What a good girl she is, she'd make a fine pet." His voice told me he was only kidding, but Azula replied with a sadistic grin.

"Don't ever change Azula." He smiled at her warmly.

"We'll keep in touch." She managed a slight nod of the head and an almost friendly smile.

Everything after that was darkness and the dull sound of Saturo hammering us inside the crate.

Yet I had never been this close to Azula, and my senses had never been more alive.


	14. Cosmic and Infinite

It was dark and humid and quiet between us for the moment. Nothing but the sound of dull hammering, which resembled the beat of wild drums, embedded us.

A hand traced down my arm, slowly, teasingly. It was just the gentle touch of her fingertips, skimming the surface of my skin, a shiver of pleasure overtook me. I hadn't quite realized how close we were until the hammering stopped, and I was sure Saturo had left. I could feel her heat radiate onto my exposed skin. Had I leaned forward at all, my face could've rested on her chest.

"We've got a trip ahead of us. I would ask if you're comfortable, but it doesn't really matter seeing as we don't much have a choice by the means of comfort..." She spoke quietly to me, her breath on my face. I kept my eyes shut because there was only darkness no matter what I did.

"Then…I guess that's my first question…where are we going?" This was top priority, on a need-to-know basis.

She paused, I couldn't tell if in hesitation or in aggravation, but there was a feel in the crate. I could hear the slump of her shoulders, and almost as if it were a sixth sense, I could feel her smile, that classic fire-princess half-smile.

"The eastern air temple…"

_The temple was decimated early on in the Hundred Years war. _

"The one with the air nomads…? This is…a joke? Azula I don't understand… the temple was burned to the ground many years ago. Why would we want to go to an old air-bender homeland?"

Her sigh was typical, expected, an exhale that greeted me many years before, and would greet me in many years ahead.

"In recent times it's developed into a refugee nation…it's the most secure place we can bet on right now."

"How can that be? Refugee nation…? I thought it was only accessible by flying bison…"

"When you're desperate, Ty-lee, you find the means. Everyone will find the means."

"But Azula, if you put that many criminals in one place at the same time, someone is bound to find them…Oh, Agni, we're going to criminal country!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Ty-lee. This isn't a city of rapists and murders, grant it there are a few but… the people that actually make it there obviously weren't under tight enough security to have done any high-caliber damage. Grand theft, debts, defacing property, this is very white collar, Ty. It's a spattering of fire-bugs and attempted homicides, and even then, they're kept on a tight leash. Besides, nobody will be so far gone as to look for people like that in a place like this. The authorities won't leave their respective nations to find people as such in a land where they aren't doing anyone any harm. They want us here as much as we want to be here. It's unspoken, but mutual."

"But what about _us_, Azula? We're not…white collar."

"As far as anyone knows, I'm dead and you're just missing. By the time anyone can even jump to the conclusion that we _might_ be hiding out there, it'll be so far off, such old news, that nobody would even bother. Like I said, we aren't doing anyone any harm. Who would even care?"

My head shot up like a box spring in the darkness.

"_Mai _would care! And _Zuko_! My friends!"

"Friends? They're not your friends. They're fools, too concerned with each other to even give you a second thought! They're despicable people Ty-lee, they create messes they can't clean up and leave other people to flounder around in the wake of their bedlam! By the time we eve-"

And in that moment, in all of Azula's rage and mixed emotions, the heat of her anger shot like magma from her lips and spattered upon my cheekbone. The pain was so intense that my head felt like it had been spun wildly and dipped in vertigo. I could literally feel the spite in Azula's heart blister away at my porcelain skin. I hate to bite my lip until warm blood rushed down my chin to keep from screaming and salty tears welled in my eyes. I wiped at them frantically to keep them from the burn.

Then there was sound. A new sound. Almost…sort of a choking.

"I…Ty-lee…are you alright?" Azula's voice was softer now, velvet and smooth. Not arrogant, just calm.

I could only manage a small whimpering noise.

"I'm sorry…" There was a rustling then a faint "pop" sound. "Here…let me…let me tend to the mess I made."

There was a moment of fumbling, her hands trembled in the darkness looking for my burnt flesh, the choking sound became more apparent. I guided her hands to my face and a cool gel soothed the sting of my burn. It wasn't cool like cold water, it was more like mint, it was enough to take the edge off, but not so much that it couldn't all together take away the dull throbbing. I tried to speak then:

"What…what is this?"

"It's some medicine I found in the old man's house…he won't need it now." Her voice wavered in the dark crate, and it was then that I realized that the choking noise was the sound of Azula's suppressed sobs.

Stunned, I became quiet. Never had I seen Azula cry, part of me thought that all the tears she may have had burned up in the fire that was her heart. I somewhat thought she was…incapable.

A sniffling sound proceeded for a moment, then the fire-bender's voice again.

"Did you have anything else you wanted to discuss…?"

There were a million things I could've said, a million things I wanted to say, but I closed my eyes again and tried to relax.

"What will we do when we get there?"

"Try to conform. Survive."

"Will that…be hard?"

"Nothing is ever easy, Ty lee…"

I let a sigh escape my lips, she was right. When was anything ever truly easy for us? It was going to be a hard time coming.

Then, as I leaned back on the wooden wall, I could feel her slender fingers lock in-between mine. My eyes shot open and the blood rushed to my face. It made my burn pulse with a dull thudding. Her grip on my hands was firm but it wasn't rough. A mixture of comforting and confident. I could think only to wrap my fingers around hers in response.

"But maybe we'll get lucky. I've been lucky so far haven't I?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm alive, and you're alive, and right now that's all I really need."

It only took a moment for me to realize that she had broke her hands away and wrapped them around my waist, pulling me into her. My head rested on her chest.

In that moment we were one. Cosmic and infinite.


	15. The Threshold

The proceeding journey was long and somewhat quiet. I slept as soundly as a girl could while locked inside of a crate. Azula's arms never left my waist and no part of me would dare protest that.

I did hear an interesting tale, however. Azula met Saturo in prison, apparently. On the seldom occasions that Azula was required to leave her cell, she often spoke with him. As it turns out, Saturo's gate keeper was very inclined to taking bribes, and Azula was very wealthy. It didn't take long for an exchange to occur. The few that still stood by Azula, would supply Saturo with the currency he needed to get out, and in turn, he would aid in her escape. I had to commend him, he was a man of his word.

Many hours passed, and finally our crate began to heave back and forth. I held my breath as the crate was carried, quite carelessly, to it's destination. The warmth of Azula's hands covered my mouth, I listened carefully as conversation began outside the wooden confinement.

"Evening, ma'am. Quite a package this'n is…" A man undoubtedly. He pat the crate a few times and I buried my face into Azula's shoulder.

"Yes, well, thank you for the delivery. This should cover the cost…" This voice was much more delicate. She spoke so lightly it was almost hard to hear her.

"What's in this old thing, anyway? In fact, what're you doing way out here?"

I could hear the woman sigh in frusteration, now.

"It's for my father, he's studying the wild life a few miles out. It's just a bunch of his junk."

Azula then whispered faintly in my ear "Did she just call us _junk?"_

It was the man's turn again, his final one, thankfully. "Well, try'n stay dry, rainy season's on its way, I hear. Much obliged for the patronage."

His large footsteps shuffled into the distance, and our crate shook lightly now.

We were being dragged.

"Azula…" I spoke lightly, with a little more anxiety than called for.

"Shh…it's almost over. I promise."

Soon the dragging stopped and the woman spoke again;

"You guys are way too heavy for this! 'Oh, it's just too little women!' they told me, 'You can handle that, can't you?' they said! Hogwash! There is no way in Agni that I am _not_ getting paid for this! I'm all for helping out the cause, but damn it this is just laziness! Sending a woman like me to do the job of a lion-bear!" her voice was no longer as delicate.

With that, however, planks of the crate began to crack and fall, and light barreled into our dark prison. I had to shield my eyes in my hands from the blinding sunshine, but it was heavenly to once again feel its warmth.

When I was able to orient myself once more, I looked at the woman before me, who was still on edge and discussing the "injustices of the workplace" to herself. She was really quite dashing, however. Her hair was a mixture of cocoa and black coffee and hung down to her hips. Which were also full and rounded, I could tell just by her hourglass figure that she was most defiantly water-tribe. She had the thickness of someone that spent generations in the cold. An attractive thickness.

She looked at me and smiled somewhat, then. Her glasses fell to the rim of her nose as she nodded at me. "Hey there…It's nice to finally see the faces of the refugee's I was told to lug all the way back to camp."

Azula laughed somewhat heartily. "You were doing fine for a while there."

"I suppose you're going to ask me to carry you up the mountain?"

"If it's not out of your way."

I'd never seen Azula do banter quite like this. It was stunning almost, Saturo, this woman, it was becoming apparent that perhaps Azula found her people. She found a place to fit in while she was away.

Then she looked my way again, still chuckling. "My name is Kachina, but I prefer Kaya. I'm going to be your guide to camp. I hope you like long walks up steep inclines. I also hope you're not allergic to poison sumac, there's a lot of that for a portion of the journey."

My eyes widened at Azula, this wasn't was I was expecting...she just grinned at me.

"She's just kidding about the sumac, Ty lee, but it is a pretty steep walk…but we'll only ever have to do it once…"

"I guess so. The sooner we get there, the better….My name is Ty lee by the way, it's nice to meet you, Kaya, and thank you for the trouble you had to go through to get us here, I really do appreciate it."

Kaya beamed at that, her hazel eyes glimmered with pride. "Well it's about time someone acknowledged my handiness! Alright ladies, the sun's going to set soon, but I'm confident that if we're fast, we can make it by nightfall."

"Easy, Kachina, we're still a little shaken. We'll walk at a comfortable pace." Azula took the lead with her bag flung behind her shoulder. Kaya seemed somewhat miffed at being called her real name, however she followed reluctantly and ran up ahead of Azula.

"Hey, I'm the guide here, at least let me do my job." Her voice wasn't angry, more so as it was teasing.

I looked around at the scenery as we walked. It was a mass array of thick flora and mud. We didn't seem to follow any definite trail, occasionally we walked along a river. However, through the clearing of the tree's I could see that in the distance a mountain range was rapidly approaching. That was obviously our target.

Inwardly I groaned, my body was sore from little to no nourishment and inconsistent sleep. The burn on my face still stung and I kept my arms flat to my sides because, frankly, I was starting to smell.

Azula looked back at me once.

"Are you doing okay?"

"I've been better, but it's nothing I can't handle…"

"I know. This isn't exactly pleasant, but it's worth it in the end. You can sleep and eat until your heart's content. I need to wash up too, you know. We're both a mess. I realize it…"

"I'm not complaining! I was just…being honest."

"I know…sometimes blowing off steam helps. Hey…I'll walk next to you if it makes you feel better."

"Well…I wouldn't mind." _Yes, please._

"It would make me feel better anyway." She slowed her pace slightly to walk beside me, Kaya walked ahead, in her own mindset.

"We're almost at the mountain base!" Kachina jeered enthusiastically.

Azula stopped and grabbed my shoulders abruptly. Our eyes stared back into one another and her hands tensed, keeping me in place.

"Are you sure you're ready, Ty lee? To start this new life?" Her eyes told a story of their own. She almost seemed frightened. For once in her life she seemed…uncertain.

I placed my hand on her arm, in my own attempt to be just as serious. "Will you stay alongside me through it all?"

And then simply, effortlessly, her uncertainties seemed to drip down her body and onto the forest floor. Expression softened and grip less intense.

"If it makes you feel better." She managed a toothy smirk and walked on ahead.

Kaya looked back at Azula wryly, to which Azula seemed to respond;

"…It would make me feel better, anyway."


End file.
